Worst Tattoo of the Day
Good Manners And Cell Phones
While technology develops at light speed and humans manners at no speed, I find a great black hole between the two. Take Cell phones. These artifacts -in all kinds of advanced development-dominate our lives today.
Not only are they ubiquitous in day and night, but they have also become a nightmare.
Last week, being in between classes, I decided to enjoy a moment of leisure in our faculty lounge. Here you can find colleagues, who in no time engage you in quiet urbane conversations (sometimes serious discussions), and all in a peaceful, well-mannered setting.
Then along came the cell phone.
With the gadget in their ear, the well-mannered professors show their dark sides: some shout, others growl, many curse, and worst of all, the faculty lounge turns into mayhem, pandemonium, and chaos all at once.
So I headed toward the staff-faculty cafeteria where one find kindred souls with whom to chat, swap stories, or maybe engage in low-level-non-vicious gossip. Right in the middle of ordering my lunch, the waitress’s cell phone rings. Of course, she takes a moment to answer. Never mind that I had to listen to her problems about getting rid of her free-loading sister-in-law.
As I returned home on the Q32 bus, and once on the 59th Street Bridge, the bus started to move at snail pace: ten minutes per each square foot. As if in a chorus the passengers pulled their phones and started notifying their alleged-loved ones that they would be late due to heavy traffic. After this initial choreographed wave, a second one ensued. Incoming calls started.
One conversation caught my attention; a young man is begging his father to pay the last installment of his tuition bill:
“It’s only seven hundred dollars, dad.”
“I know you gave me the $700 bucks. But I used it for the tattoo you see on my neck.”
“I agree I should tattoo things on my brain rather than on my neck, but this tattoo is my soul and it will stay with me forever.”
“You know I’ll pay you back when I graduate.”
“A check is fine. Okay, dad. I promise–no more tattoos. Thanks, man. Love you dad.”
As I debarked from the bus, I turned around to thank the driver, but I changed my mind since the man had the darn garget plugged in to his left ear. At least, the good soul, had the common sense not to use it while driving.
That same night, Mary Patricia (my wife) attended a concert at Carnegie Hall. A nice young man came on the stage and –in the most cordial tone– asked the audience to turn off their cell phones. A tsunami of gadgets twittered off–at least until the concert break.
Oh boy–was I wrong!
Ten minutes into the concert my own cell phone went off, lifting me a foot off my seat with embarrassment. I’ve since removed the ring tones on my phone, and I’ve learned to text.
If my mother was alive she would add to her age-old adages: “Never put anything in your ear that is smaller than an eggplant–no iPods, no cell phones, and no tattoos.”
About the Author
Retired. Former investment banker, Columbia University-educated, Vietnam Vet (67-68).
For the writing techniques I use, see Mary Duffy’s e-book: Sentence Openers.
To read my book reviews of the Classics visit my blog: Writing To Live
Re: Worlds Stupidest Tattoo!!! (9.21.09 – Day 144)
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L.A. Ink: Season 1 $11.08 Studio: Uni Dist Corp (music) Release Date: 10/13/2009 Run time: 559 minutes… |
